The Truth About Healthy Relationships: What You’re Missing As An Expat

Relationships are at the heart of our well-being. Whether with friends, family, or a partner, the quality of the relationships we nurture can have a profound impact on our mental and physical health. As someone who’s worked with many individuals and families living abroad, I’ve seen firsthand how the quality of our relationships becomes even more critical when we’re living in a foreign country or moving frequently due to work commitments.

Expats, in particular, face a unique set of challenges when it comes to relationships. Moving to a new country often means leaving behind established networks and the comfort of knowing who is in your circle. That’s why working on relationships—whether old or new—is an essential part of feeling settled, supported, and mentally healthy, even in a new environment. But it doesn’t stop there, it’s crucial to understand what are the characteristics of a HEALTHY relationship.

So, why are healthy relationships so important?

Healthy relationships are not just about companionship; they’re about belonging and connection. They serve as a foundation for how we cope with stress, celebrate our successes, and manage life’s challenges. Research has shown that individuals who have strong, healthy relationships tend to live longer, have fewer health problems, and cope better with life’s inevitable stressors.

As someone who has worked with families and individuals who have lived in two or more countries, I can tell you this: relationships matter, whether they’re old friendships maintained across borders or new connections made in unfamiliar cities.

Maintaining strong relationships—even when physically separated—isn’t just a matter of staying in touch; it’s about prioritizing emotional intimacy, mutual support, and clear communication, especially in the face of the isolation that can come from living abroad.

Healthy Relationships is Key to a good expatriation

The expatriate experience often comes with frequent moves and transitions. Living in a foreign country or moving between multiple cities can make it difficult to maintain a consistent social network. Yet, in my experience, it is those who prioritize their relationships—even from a distance—that thrive in their new environments.

For example, a British business professional, constantly splitting his time between Singapore and Hong Kong, recognized the importance of continuing regular FaceTime dates with his closest friends back home. These video calls became a grounding ritual that reminded him he wasn’t alone, no matter how far away he was. This sense of belonging was key to his emotional stability, even in the face of an ever-changing professional landscape.

Likewise, it’s not enough for families to reconnect once a year for Christmas… When we don’t speak and connect regularly, we lose touch. There’s an intimacy and sense of belonging when we share our everyday life with someone, even the trivial. That’s why one of my Canadian patients based in Singapore has made it a point to have a weekly chat with her sister, because although they’ve always had a good relationships, not being in each others’ everyday life created a distance between them.

5 Key Benefits of Healthy Relationships

The benefits of maintaining healthy relationships—especially when living abroad—are clear. They impact every aspect of our lives, from emotional support to physical health. Here are five essential benefits of healthy relationships that I’ve seen firsthand in my patients:

1. Personal Growth and Emotional Resilience

Having someone you trust, who believes in you, helps foster personal growth. Whether you’re stepping into a new culture, adjusting to a new job, or navigating relationship changes, a supportive relationship gives you the courage to take risks, make mistakes, and grow. This is especially true for those living internationally, as the challenges of living abroad can often push you out of your comfort zone.

A patient I worked with, a Malaysian woman who had recently moved to Switzerland, found that maintaining a close connection with her family back home was pivotal in helping her navigate the emotional rollercoaster of cultural adjustment. Regularly talking with loved ones gave her the emotional resilience to face new challenges head-on, knowing she had a solid support system.

2. A Sense of Purpose and Belonging

One of the most profound benefits of healthy relationships is the sense of purpose they provide. When we’re part of a supportive network—whether it’s a partner, friends, or family—we feel that we matter. And that sense of mattering is crucial to our mental health.

Being away from home can sometimes make us feel like we’re disconnected from our sense of purpose. But even while living abroad, making an effort to stay connected with people who share our values and interests can help us feel like we are part of something bigger than ourselves. That’s why finding people with common values and interest is really helpful. Facebook and Meetup have a whole gamut of groups where you can find others to connect with.

3. Stress Relief Through Connection

Living abroad can be stressful. From bureaucratic challenges to cultural misunderstandings, the list of stressors is long. However, having strong relationships means you don’t have to shoulder the burden alone. Even when physically separated, a simple phone call or video chat with someone you trust can make a huge difference.

Healthy relationships help mitigate stress, lower anxiety levels, and increase your overall well-being. When you know you have someone in your corner, it’s easier to stay grounded and focused, even in challenging times. And yes, having a few laughs and sharing frustrations with a fellow expat or local is a great way to bond!

4. Building a Support Network

Whether you’re abroad for work, school, or other reasons, building a reliable support network in your new home is essential. Whether you’ve made the move with your own family, or are alone, it’s important to have people around you that you can ask for help when needed.

For example, a Chinese-Singaporean client who relocated to France made it a point of embracing opportunities to meet new people in her new environment. This balance helped her create a rich support network that allowed her to thrive emotionally and socially.

5. Increased Resilience in the Face of Adversity

We all face hardship. Whether you’re dealing with loneliness abroad or coping with unexpected challenges, your relationships are your foundation. Healthy relationships give us the strength to weather difficult times and become more resilient. When you have a support network, you are far more likely to bounce back from life’s inevitable setbacks.

One of the most common things I hear from patients is how the emotional support of family or friends has given them the strength to adapt and move forward, even when things felt impossible. Resilience is a muscle that grows stronger the more we rely on our relationships to see us through tough times.

The 6 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

When it comes to relationships, there are certain traits that differentiate healthy connections from toxic ones. In the context of living abroad, these traits are even more vital because you rely on these connections for emotional support when you don’t have the familiarity of home to lean on.

1. Trust

Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without trust, it’s difficult to feel emotionally safe. And without emotional safety, your relationships cannot thrive. Trust grows over time, through shared experiences and honesty.

2. Honesty

Healthy relationships require honesty—not just in sharing information, but in being true to yourself and your needs. Being able to express your feelings authentically, whether it’s about your emotions or your day-to-day experiences, creates the space for deeper connection.

3. Respect

Living abroad often exposes us to different values and lifestyles. Respecting these differences and allowing the people in your life to have their own perspectives fosters a sense of inclusion and trust. Even in disagreements, respect helps maintain a healthy dynamic.

4. Fondness

Even in the most platonic relationships, a shared appreciation for each other helps keep the bond strong. It’s about acknowledging and valuing one another, even if you’re far apart physically.

5. Communication

In any relationship, open and honest communication is key to resolving conflicts and deepening emotional intimacy. This becomes especially important when you’re in a new country, adjusting to a new culture, and trying to make sense of your experiences abroad.

6. Reciprocity

Healthy relationships are built on mutual give-and-take. You support each other through life’s ups and downs. There’s an unspoken balance of giving and receiving that strengthens the bond over time.

Key Takeaways: Maintaining Healthy Relationships, Even When Abroad

Living abroad, whether for a few months or many years, presents unique challenges for maintaining healthy relationships. But with intentional effort, it is entirely possible to create and nurture meaningful connections, no matter where you are. Whether you’re maintaining old friendships, building new ones, or prioritizing your relationship with a partner or family, healthy relationships are essential for a fulfilling, well-rounded life—especially in an expatriate context.

So, while it might be tough to see family and friends far away, remember that it’s okay to make the effort to stay connected. Schedule those FaceTime calls, plan regular check-ins, and even make new connections in your new home. Don’t let the physical distance keep you from the relationships that nourish your soul.